Breaking Free

I was just writing in an Egyptian journal that my sister in law gave to me over a year ago. This journal has been designated as a creative place for me to express myself. Unfortunately, the journal only has about 10 pages filled and it has been available for this purpose for well over six months. I have not allowed my creative juices to flow for quite some time. Anyway, I was listening to piano music through Pandora and was trying to listen to what my soul wanted. I read an ensign article and wasn't feelin it. I was wanting more. I then thought about a self help book I could read and still felt a little stagnant. All of the sudden I thought "Hey I should draw that lamp". So that is what I did. I got out a white piece of paper and then remember my green Egyptian journal. I drew the lamp. It was feeling right. I then continued on to write about the piano, then music, then writing. To just write creatively was something I have done in the past and enjoyed. I never made it a habit...too many other "shoulds" got in the way I guess. Well, as I was writing about this and how much I liked it I thought about my blog. I thought about how I would like to write some thoughts and just put them out there. It feels good to have other people read what you write but it kind of puts you in vulnerable place. I felt hesitant and had not really done much of it because I was too insecure I guess. I thought I was too good for it or something. I don't really understand all the reasons why but it is the same reason why I wouldn't date a girl younger than me in High School...I was above that or didn't need that. In reality, I think it was because I was too self conscious of what other people thought. Anyway, as I was writing I was trying to understand why I hesitated to write in my blog and I decided it was time for me too leave all of it and do it if I felt like it. So here it is, my first free blog entry. No scholarlyness behind it. There may be a little scholarly tint as I am trying to figure this ole J. Storm out.